Hannah Montana Is Officially Dead
Written by OBDaKid // August 26, 2013 // Breaking, Latest News, Miley Cyrus, Question of The Day, R.I.P.
(CelebNMusic247-News) Hannah Montana Is Officially Dead
Last night, Miley Cyrus was involved in the gruesome and gratuitous killing of a Disney icon!
Young girls and parents were subjected to the slaughter of a Disney Star being brutally mascared on national TV with the evolution of Miley Cyrus and her Bangers movement that came off like #pitchystrippers, according to Kelly Clarkson.
The funeral was held earlier today as Hannah Montana’s DVD collection was cremated and her ashes were used as fertilizer to grown greener pastures on the Disney Studio lot.
Miley Cyrus may have stripped herself of the blond wig that differentiated her from her real life persona Miley Cyrus, but after Sunday night during the MTV Video Music Awards last night wholesome American teen pop idol is dead!
Miley was 14 when she starred as Hannah Montana. The official cause of death has been listed by the coroner’s office as “complications from being normal,” but insiders say the cheerful, family-loving idol to millions of young girls ultimately died of shame and neglect. Others referred to it as a “public execution.”
Here’s the drop:
According to witnesses, the death occurred when Miley Cyrus, 20, joined Robin Thicke for a rendition of his smash-hit homage to the patriarchal hegemony, Blurred Lines, during the VMAs. Cyrus, wearing a skin-coloured latex bikini, ground her twerking derriere into Thicke’s groin, patted his nether regions with a foam finger, used the same foam finger to replicate a tumescent male penis, stuck her tongue out about six times too many and generally pranced around with the clunky and airless charm of a 75-year-old woman who lives her entire life without ever doing anything naughty and suddenly throws her reputation out the window during one bad moment at a wedding reception.
Viewers watching her performance who were not paralyzed by shock tweeted such words as “disgrace,” “uncomfortable” and “mortification,” and asked fellow tweeters to remind them to never let their children go into show business. Others urged her to “THINK OF THE CHILDREN!”
People close to Hannah Montana say they knew she was doomed as many as four years ago when Cyrus, then 16, pole-danced during the Teen Choice Awards. Her fate was sealed as Cyrus continued to distance herself from her Disney alter ego and began wearing clothes during her concerts that were more Madonna than Snow White.
